Tuesday, May 31, 2011

About reality

- Every moment you have a qualitative experience which is unique based on your body chemistry at that moment and state of mind
- Reality for you is everything you can experience in all forms
- It is only possible to experience from your perspective, it is impossible to qualitatively experience someone else's feeling.
- Language was created to convey this unique qualitative experience and create a shared reality. But it is still a virtual reality because it reduces everything to concepts. Its idea is to create shared mutually beneficial space.
- But the only person who knows what you really want is yourself, not this shared language space or anyone else.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Thoughts and experience

Thoughts are just pointers and take you to the experience. They are never the experience themselves. They can however greatly increase your willingness to experience something, clearing the path for it. But you still need to step into it.

Vipassana troubles

During the Vipassana period, the one thing that really disturbed me was that, my desires were maintained only by me constantly thinking about them and fueling them. To stop thinking about them meant to completely renounce them or let go of them. This was scary because, the desire's intensity is maintained by this constant thinking and that is how you construct your self. If you suddenly stop to think, their intensity starts fading away. You can literally feel it fading and since the desires give you pleasure, you do not want to let go of them.

It is like through trial and error, throughout life, we have been constructing this personality. The personality is what we project to ourselves and others. It is an entity we have created to survive/flourish in the world and we believe that it is in our best interest to preserve it. If I really stop thinking and just stay in the present moment, then this personality starts to dissolve. That's the really disturbing part.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Philosophical insights - 20May

- Every experience is qualitative
- language works because of assumed shared experiences. They are fixed defined patterns defined by vocabulary used in language.
- This experience vocabulary(mime's) created by language is the virtual reality.
- Mime's - 4D objects that represent experiences
- The same words could mean totally different things to different people
- The real truth - nobody understands anything. Its their perception. We fool ourselves into believing them vs believing ourselves
- Nobody can any power over you. You just think they do. Its a false belief. When someone insults you, they just trigger your own core beliefs stored somewhere. We switch through our core beliefs many times during a single day.
- You viewing people on movies is exactly the same as seeing it in reality. Its just because you believe one is real and one is not.
- you can either go after experiences or go after increasing the experience level itself which transforms everything globally.
- alter the global variables and not the small local ones of experience.
- only people with similar experiences can ever understand us. We assume people have similar experiences. This assumption is because of this language virtual reality.For the same word they may imagine a fundamentally different qualitative experience.
- All external knowledge and processing you do is related is not you. Its just a combination of memory and processing. WHO IS PROCESSING?WHO IS HAVING THE MEMORY? That person is you.
- Nothing exists for you besides different projections of your own self. Your self is everything you know, imagine, sense, think..EVERYTHING. Everything is within, there is nothing out there. Everything you perceive has its mechanism inside you.
- My perception is the only thing that's real to me. What I cannot perceive does not exist for me. I may however be able to reach a higher plane and invoke new experiences. "My Reality" is different from "ABSOLUTE REALITY". My objective is to go closer to the absolute.
- We trust reality so much because of this physical solid dimension which can injure us. But the physical reality is just a part of the entire matrix. There are many many other dimensions and planes coexisting along with the physical. Give the physical reality its required attention but don't be landlocked by it, free yourself to explore other planes.
- What matters is "What do you feel", nothing else. For e.g.: What do YOU feel when you look at the Eiffel tower? You are free to choose any perspective you want, you do not have to bind yourself to culture, society, family, people around you etc.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

We fundamentally long for oneness


I kind of agree to this idea that the only thing we really long for is oneness with everything. Emotions like love are just tools to take us there. Some moments take us very close to this state and then we return to a normal state.

What is personality?

Very well explained: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deC_ROdaJFE&feature=related

Personality - A form of Rigidity. Fixed likes/dislikes/opinions/aspirations etc.

Its just a creation that helps you push your way through physical world. If you want to ascend to higher dimensions, it is necessary to dissolve this personality. Like a burnt clay pot vs a mud pot. The mud pot completely dissolves when put into water while the burnt clay pot continues to remain rigid.

I've seen most spiritual practices expose you to this truth and lead you towards dissolving the personality. That is why they are so shocking at first. For e,g.: When I went for the vipassana retreat, I could feel my personality dissolving and I have to admit it was really scary and each time I would compulsively start internal verbal dialogue and bring it back.

Awareness is light

Awareness is Light. Its always burning in full intensity. Its just that we have layers of cloth covering this up. If we remove all the layers, we will see the true source of light which would illuminate everything around within and outside us.

Feeling of triumph

I guess this is most apt picture that conveys the feeling of triumph I had after I realized I had cleared the final interview for "The Internship".

The feeling after I realized I got over this hurdle was exactly like how a hungry and lonely wanderer who has been searching for people for days would feel when he finally finds a village.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

The real purpose of suffering


Suffering forces you to evolve. Most of my motivation for understanding things is from suffering. I see that most people who are happy and having a strong social base, simply don't want to change because:
1. They are afraid a change would mean losing all their advantages/relationships
2. There is no need for introspection
3. There is no need to evolve their thoughts or move up the ladder of consciousness
4. There is no need to reflect deeply on anything
5. They think that the personality that they have created defines them
6. They cannot empathize because only the person who has suffered the most can empathize most deeply

It is a static state and until something comes along and shakes them up, they would comfortably live in that same state throughout. I can say this because honestly if I fit into society perfectly right from childhood and was fully convinced with all the shared beliefs with whatever logic was given, there would be no reason for me to question anything, change, empathize etc.

The important thing as the article points out, there is a difference between good/bad suffering. If you ask the question: Why should we evolve?Whats the meaning?
The answer would be the fundamental quest of truth and meaning that is derived from direct experience and not other people's minds. At some point of time it hits you. What is the difference between you, the crow outside and a dog passing by. You believe you are a superior creature with a completely different and richer experience of life and having far more control?
That is the same reason why you need to evolve. The difference pointed out here is like a metaphor for what it means to evolve. Every level of consciousness implies a huge increase in your understanding and control. The exact reasons why you differentiate yourself from other animals.

Friday, May 13, 2011

What would unlimited freedom feel like?

Freedom and attachment are closely linked. If you can renounce everything, you would have the most freedom. But you would have to renounce everything from your personality, preferences, likes/dislikes, even your survival instincts. Complete detachment gives you unlimited choices for any action and maximum freedom.

Its an interesting imagination exercise. What would you do and feel if you had ultimate freedom, with physical invincibility and any power that is imaginable? I think a lucid dream can be a portal for such an experience. I do experience great freedom in them but I think it can be a LOT MORE. In a dream there is no time, there is no space too - you can teleport to any place, nothing is fixed. Things can melt, transform. Even your physical body is just a residual body image and you can shape shift into any form you want. You can fly like a bird or move like a 4 legged creature. Its is the ultimate world for your imagination ever. Far richer experience than any virtual reality.

I believe that is the ONLY state in the sensory world that would give you that level of freedom. No other activity in my opinion comes even remotely close to the freedom of a lucid dream.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Conundrum with perspectives

Your perspective = lens through which you see the world

Totally different experiences are possible with the same object, with different perspectives:
For e.g.: The object may be 1.Great 2. Terrible 3. Unimportant from 3 different perspectives with all of them being equally true.

People's Language Mime's influence us to an extent when we are around them. It happens especially when you do not have your shield on, that compulsively keeps trying to prove that your personality is the best.

It becomes quite difficult to decide "What is the more important thing among 2 activities?" because you can have very different experiences depending the perspective you choose. That is maybe we try to move with people who have the same perspectives as us so that they see our achievements as important or are able to validate our life's meaning.

Your childhood, culture, immediate society and people in your daily life can easily land lock you in patterns of beliefs/perspectives.Once you see through them, you realize there is no reason to just hold on to them for the rest of your life.

"I want to be FREE to choose whatever perspective I feel like at whatever time". That is my true dynamic instead of being landlocked into a fixed personality for the rest of my life.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Difference between imagination, dreams and reality

I think the only thing stopping these things from being equally real is our beliefs. The dream is as real as reality. Whether you recreate an experience through intense visualization and concentration OR in real life, its almost the same but your beliefs will decide how much importance/significance you want to give the imagined one. The only thing real is consciousness itself on which all these states are projected and we are the consciousness, not the waking, sleeping, imagining or dreaming states. Everything is equally real and significant.


Thursday, May 5, 2011

Reading can also be imprisoning if not done from the right perspective

I have been extensively reading for a long time, in an associative chain like fashion on Google. I've realized that factual information can manipulate you but theories about religion, philosophy and psychology can be FAR more manipulative. For e.g. say you take the Myer's Briggs personality test and you get classified as one of the 16 types. This affects what you believe about yourself and that is imprisoning in a way since you start thinking that your landlocked into that personality for the rest of your life. That kind of goes against real freedom which I'm after.

Usually while reading I balance it out by reading both the positive and negative sides of any issue so that I wont get biased. But then what is the truth? Am I not just unloading more imaginary castles onto my mind?Ideas, concepts, ideologies and classifications and more reductionism?

Real freedom is maximum dynamic. You should free to be whatever you want. Free from identifying with all the ideas, images, conceptions, impressions, beliefs and thoughts about yourself. I think real freedom comes at a level under your beliefs. You probably need to meditate and relax enough to go deep enough to see through your beliefs.

Until recently, I looked at a prison just from a physical point of view. Metaphorically, I realize that even I am in a deep prison on my mind's beliefs which I need to come out of. Every belief is a wall. Its counter-intuitive, I need to unlearn everything I think I know to realize true freedom.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Gifted children and their recognition in society/Friendships and Romantic interests

I was just wondering, the gifted people that make their way into the media are probably just a very small % of the total number of gifted people. Sometimes geniuses are recognized by society late and these geniuses often report not fitting into society and struggling during their childhood, schooling and college days due to a variety of reasons such as the education system which greatly favors sequential learners.

I can see 3 possibilities:
  • Either society recognizes them in the later part of their life. They gain fame, respect and admiration.
  • Many artists live lonely lives, create great work and even die in this oblivion and society catches and appreciates their work many centuries later.
  • They are simply not recognized ever
The last option sounds the most disturbing to me. But I also see that this is the option that's most likely. Society itself is built on a set of rigid morals and beliefs. Anything outside the purview of these is not considered significant. Most thinkers who question fundamental beliefs are simply categorized with some psychological disorder or in common language 'crazy'.

I also wonder about the more fundamental question of "Why do I care if I'm recognized or not?"
Even if I am, they would never see the real truth that makes up who I am. Even I do not know that. The person closest to me is 'me myself' by a long shot. People would just admire me for a very small manifested part of me and even that would come with its reasonable/unreasonable expectations.

Its like people judge me at different levels:
1. Superficially by my looks, behavior, body language
2. Maybe by common context, special interests
3. Based on common beliefs, values

But I've never gone deep enough with anyone to a level where they can actually understand the matrix behind all my dreams, beliefs, conditioning and beyond.

A true friend in common definition would be "someone who unconditionally wishes well for you". Even saints are like that right. Why is the saint not your true friend then?

Say a friend can almost see the matrix that creates you, would a true friend be a person who understands you extensively at deeper levels too? But what if he does understand you completely, but you do not get validation or appreciation because of contrasting beliefs between you two?
Those situations are very disturbing and common in romantic relationships too. Its like you've invested so much in making the other person understand why you are what you are, what makes you behave in certain ways, on what basis you formed your beliefs, your different inclinations etc. In the end, sometimes the other person simply does not agree with you because of some fundamental differences in nature or conditioning. Since you have invested so much, you cannot imagine actually getting a negative return for that. You want the other person to at the least validate all of that. That is like a break-even. Ideally you would want to be deeply admired or even adored.

So we measure the quality of relationships based on:
  • To what depth they understand you.
  • The outcome of that: Acceptance/Validation - Admiration - Deep Admiration - Adoration
  • Level/Number of shared experiences/contexts/situations
  • Commonalities in beliefs, interests, ideas, ways of thinking, conditioning.
  • Integrity wrt. bonding values such as: Respect for the other, tolerance, privacy
I can also see another global variable factor that is, how intimate is the person with himself or herself determines how intimate he can be with you. Just like we learn sexuality by exploring ourselves first. The more you know and understand yourself, the more you can understand the other.

Understanding art or musical giftedness involves you yourself having that potential. If you absolutely cannot sing in tune, it is very difficult to understand how a musician might hear music.

I hope that some day I find someone who operates at the same level in terms of seeing through the matrix of our existence. I hope to live an unbounded life with such a person.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Sacred Geometry

An extension from the Golden ratio spiral: 1:1.618(phi) which totally fascinated me, I came across this new concept - Sacred Geometry. When people report moving into higher dimensions by consumption of psychedelics, DMT etc. or a near death experience, seeing complex geometric patterns/fractals that appealed to them at an intuitive level seemed to be a common experience. So I was wondering, what do the higher dimensions have to do with geometry. Then after seeing some videos about higher dimensions, chakras etc., it occurred to me that maybe just like the golden ratio, there is an inherent geometry underlying all creation. It might be the archetype of all creation. It may also be intimately tied with art, intuitive appeal etc. These overlapping fractals may be the underlying vibration invisible to us but creating our reality. It also ties to the phenomenon of musical vibrations creating specific crystal patterns (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaYvYysQvBU)

Sacred Geometry video sample:

1-D - oneness, unity consciousness
2-D - pi(circle), phi(spiral), 2 points creating vibration
3-D - Fibonacci sequence

Another sample: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64NR8gIcaD0&feature=related

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Emotions in children

Artistically its a masterpiece, with the Agrabah town and the night depicted in shades of dark blue and purple. The entire concept and concept art used is awesome.

I was watching a bit of Disney's Aladdin movie after ages and seeing it from an adult's perspective I realized some striking differences. All emotions were highly overt, too bright, fleeting and somewhat abrupt. It was like watching a 256 color picture on the emotional plane/shades of meaning scale vs the 16 million colors we usually find. The sublimity factors were absent. It does not carry the powerful shades and depth of romantic significance, longing. For example: When they kiss for the first time, I could not really feel any sexual energy. I can understand that since its meant for kids they purposely keep it that way but I never knew that even as an adult such scenes would not provoke strong sexual feel.

Qualities of a diamond mapped to experience

The ideal +ve experience is where the mind is like an infinitely large diamond that is clear, does not hold anything but yet, reflects/refr...