Child with a Toy Steering Wheel Analogy of Life

I seem to frequently encounter a situation where there is enormous resistance, unwillingness, aversion, repulsion, disgust but yet a force keeps pushing me hard towards that very object. Its as if my struggling against movement towards the object makes no difference. Like a wind pushing me irrespective of my struggle against it.

Like a child trying hard with his toy steering wheel to not go to a place, but the adult nevertheless steers the car there. Then the child is very fearful, that he might never leave this uncomfortable place, then mysteriously the adult drives away and relieves the child of this horrible experience only for it to repeat again after sometime.

Is it something to do with control? Do we really have no control? If that is the case, then how is the illusion of control so pervasive everywhere? Do people not see the absence of control OR Are they completely deceived in some way? How did I skip getting deceived like that? Am the the only one seeing this form of reality?

Its like the game between dark matter and gravity. One expands and one contracts, yet they exist in a play and sometimes one is stronger, sometimes the other is.

Sometimes, there is an attractive object that I pass by, like a child with his toy steering wheel in a real car passes by. The adult keeps going and does not stop, so the sight becomes a fleeting pleasure and also causes high desire but its unfulfilled when the adult drives away and it therefore causes pain.

Sometimes there is a repulsive object that the child spots but the adult continues to drive straight, so that again becomes a fleeting negative experience for the child. At times, the car goes to a repulsive object (for the child) and stops the car close to it. This causes the child to get depressed because the toy steering wheel is seen to be useless and he cannot get out of there no matter how hard he tries. At other times, the car stops in front of an attractive object, so there is constant pleasure in the child's experience. Now again when the adult takes off, the joy fades away and there is sadness/pain of loss. At times, the adult gives the child the illusion of control, he steers the car perfectly contingent to the child's toy wheel movements which convinces the child that he is driving the car.

In this analogy, the WIND force or the Adult here is God, the Universal, brahman, ultimate reality.

The child is the self/ego/identity which believes he/she is controlling destiny or that his/her desires are really real/concrete/unchanging/solid/substantial/having essence. But the reality of it is that, the adult can very easily change the whole relationship and completely dispel this illusion.

Even if I do not have control even ONCE or a SINGLE MOMENT in my life, it proves to me that control is only an APPEARANCE. Because if it was not an appearance, firstly, you would possess control all the time and non-control is impossible. Absolute truth cannot FAIL even once. Even 1 failure indicates, your model is wrong and you need to re-examine. Secondly, by the law of duality, Control even exists in experience because at sometime in your life, you have had the experience of non-control.

So technically if I extrapolate, all of perception has to be an APPEARANCE, because I can only perceive something if I experienced its opposite which means, the 'Thing/Object' I perceived has to be an insubstantial/Unreal Appearance.

The only real will, is the DIVINE will, we having willpower/control is an illusion/one of the possibilities of the divine will itself. There is no Doer in the conventional sense. The only Doer is the Divine itself (which cannot even be made or spoken of as an object).