Insight - Oct 18, 2014

Everything is changing and the in-substantiality of everything is what makes it akin to a dream, just like a dream at night is. I seemed to have transcended emotions and thinking, and I can realize that I am trying to hold on to life in my mind by thinking, verbalizing, but its all dead in a way. The alive is the moving/changing dimension. I'm recording the words, but the music has already left. Only bare words are left thereafter. Me holding on to the dead, is why I am getting depressed from deadness. I am controlling myself in pursuit of some ideal image I have been building up in my mental space. But no mental image is me, I am simply restricting myself to my mental image and believing that is the true me. 

Even emotions cannot be captured by words. Induction of emotions is possible but it involves a movement away from whats happening effortlessly. Even your ability to induce emotions may or may not be there at different times. And even if I do try to induce emotions and if I'm not particularly like the emotions that are capturing me at the moment, even that can be transcended and seen through. Everything is me, the effortless dream happens on transcending all contents and the resultant understanding from that. Even my efforts and reasons for capturing everything in words is seen through. The 'seeing' takes a quantum leap and reaches all-encompassing levels. 

Why should I try to attain anything, if I am what's here and if I am also my attainments? I am all my potentials. The current reality is as good as a potential as any other. There is no reason to attain any other state, because all states are me. I have never left myself anywhere. I am always myself like how I am always dreaming in a lucid dream no matter whats happening in the dream or who I am in the dream. I do not have to be anything else to find myself. I am already here. Everything might be as it is, or might not, I might life with the same pattern, conditioning, with all processes untouched, but with a peace that passes my understanding. There is really nothing to say, to get this across directly. I can come up with something like 'I am THAT all encompassing reality'. 

The world is a dream inside me. There is also an appearance of a shared world with the appearance of other characters similar to me. There is infinity in my relationships to these people and my relationship to the direct physical world itself. Also my own imagination. I am not in the world, the world is inside me. This is the part where it gets beyond conventional logic. 

If the world is inside me, even its rules are part of my dream. I'm playing a character of defiance and rebellion against the world presented. But I am that rebellion too. I am the world and its rules too. I am all of the people in the world. No matter what I choose, or become in this world, I will still be me, I would never have left myself. Why should I be afraid of my own potentials and stay in a depression because of that? 

I am able to see how a fear is quickly holding me in, as my imagination tries to open up any possibility. I can see how my attachments are holding me back from exploring any different dimensions and possibilities. I can see how my need for control, security is clamping on me and preventing me from even feeling much. But no matter what, from the transcendent seeing dimension, all is ME, all is perfect, all is UNION, I am all of THAT. This UNION is beyond even choosing to choose.  Choice happens inside of ME. I am not 'choice'. Everything happens inside of me. 

Its exactly like a lucid dream, but in a lucid dream, I realize I am 'my waking identity'. But in this lucid life I could call it, your identity is simply transcendent/beyond everything/everything is only one of your potentials among infinite. I could say 'The born and Infinite unborn potential' OR just say 'Beyond'.